Retrospective Reflection

I have come to learn that, people who have been through a lot, goof up as equally many times as he has done well, do not tell people how much they have gone through. They do not advice people unless asked,they neither praise nor condemn. In short, they don't judge. They have been through so much that they know that anytime, anywhere, fate can twist your life around. And they of all people, know only too well, that what fate dictates is as how HE has ordained ,...and there is no use fretting or complaining. One just have to ride it through...and survive it as best as one can.

So how do we know they have been through a lot? Their calm disposition, their very few words, carefully and thoughtfully said, says it all.

What I wanted to say here is that they who have been through a lot, know not to compare their misfortunes with the hardship of others and then claim that they have it worse than others. People who have been through a lot can appreciate that for each one, a hardship wont be claimed as such unless the person really felt it.

This I have learnt, from people who have been through a lot.

Pause Button...Rewind Please

This certainly has been one of the busiest school break I have ever gone through. Before I know it, its already Friday..bummer!

Yet this has also been one of the most enlightening week...it is for sure I have grown up quite a bit this week.

All praise be to Allah! My Noble One scored 14As for his Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia exams...he has done his Ummi proud. I bow down in prostration to Allah Almighty for making true my prayers for him. That boy has never let me down as far as his studies are concerned. My eldest sister, Kak Ijah asked if I had expected him to get straight As. That was the first I had to actually give thought to it. And so I reflected...and I replied, "Yes". I never doubted him to get all As; but I still prayed hard nonetheless.

It is this occasion of him scoring straight As that has brought about this most hectic school holiday week. Not wishing for my son to lose out on his opportunity of finding a good place to study, that very Sunday I rushed to first, PWTC, and then to KLCC to attend the education carnival. Walked for hours, lost my watch, only to come home feeling slightly disheartened to learn that education can be so expensive. I am hoping for Ashraf to do medicine.

And then on Monday, it was all excitement and with eager anticipation that I met up with 5 of my old hostel mates in a mini gathering at Rawsha Restaurant in KL. Had to take the train to KL, but I was determined. Never mind the offensive heat, the meeting was scheduled at 1.00 and I arrived at about 1.15. It is always good to meet up with old friends... a time to reminisce, and to learn a secret or two of the past. Woohoo...I learnt a secret that made my eyes go wide, and my jaw dropped! To learn it after all these years ... it was just as thrilling as it would have been if I had known it when it happened all those years ago. That is one day that I will not forget for a long long time.

I guess only Monday was a day for me. After that, on Tuesday and Wednesday, it was again back to Ashraf's business. He is interested in studying medicine in USIM and could Ummi please drive him up there to see and perhaps get the "feel" of the university? It is in Nilai, and for the first time ever, I made an interstate drive with just me and my boys ... putting my full faith in God and the road signs. And I made it...yay!!! And the next day, yet another adventure drive with just my boys to Putra Jaya to the Ministry of Higher Education. Again, he wanted to be sure of his filling the UPU online form ... does not want to goof up on that. And so we drove all the way for a hardly 1 minute session with the officer! But its okay; the drive was educational. But the google map was hopeless (in fact we only discovered the route suggested by google map when I got lost on the way back!)

But all in all, I wouldn't be a fair mom if I do not cater for my younger witty son, Zakiy.

And so yesterday was Zakiy's day. Fetched one of his friends from his home, and another from school; and then I was off to Pusat Akuatik Shah Alam for the kids to enjoy a day out in the swimming pool. And at 4, got a phone call, "Ummi can you fetch us at the Masjid Negeri please?" My dear dear baby,...do you know there about a zillion entrance to the Masjid Negeri? Thank God Allah made it easy to spot him and his friends. By the time I fetched them and sent each of his friends safely home, it was approaching night time.

And so, after such a hectic 4 day "holiday" events, I am finally down with fever and my body aches all over. Today even though I intend to spend the whole day inside, alas its Friday, and the boys must go to the mosque. Done!

That leaves me with Saturday and Sunday. Its Pesta Buku time...should I forego it? Hmm..not likely. And on Sunday, the boys' school is organising a talk at Putra Jaya. Should I not attend? My boys will be disappointed. So...looks like ...

And then there are the test papers still waiting to be marked....bummer!!! And on Monday, school starts again. O well....life goes on...so must I.

sometimes

Sometimes...
You try your hardest...it is never hard enough
You try your best ......it is never good enough
You give your all ......it is just never enough
and you start wondering
when will it ever be excellent enough
when will it ever be good enough
when will it ever be enough???

Sometimes
you look
you see
you ponder
you reflect
and then you tell yourself
that is as hard as I can go
that is as best as I can do
that is as much as i can give
and the rest is left in the hands of God
for i know my standing, I know where I stand....
Allah is my Helper

Way to Go Sis!

She speaks English by ear ... meaning she will say words the way she hears it, the way it appears to her phonetically.

Her daughter is a die hard fan of the movie 'Twilight' and of course the main character, Edward Cullen.

We all went to the bookstore over the Chinese New Year Holidays to browse through the latest titles on the bookshelf.

I went up to my sis and asked, "What's your daughter looking for?"

Her reply?

"What else? The usual Edward Cullen's 'Toilet' "....

Oops.... :)

Of choices and Fate

She stops at the crossroads....not knowing whether to move forward, take the left turn or right. She pauses, looks around her...clueless and lost as to which path to take. Unsure of what lies at the end of each path. But decide she must - she has to move on. Staying put is not an option. She would get nowhere if she does not make that move. All will grind to a halt...to a standstill.

And then a sparkle of an idea flashes through her. Call it an insight? or a revelation? Either way she takes, fate awaits her at the end of the journey. Good or bad, she will not know, until and unless she moves on and take that trip into the unknown.Its only one path that we can take at one time. Whatever it is, staying put will not get her to any destination at all.

She thinks harder. The path she chooses is by fate too. If she chooses to go straight ahead, there is no sound or logical reason to support her except that she has chosen that path to be her fate. The adventure lies within the journey..the discoveries, the experiences that she will pick up along the way. It is the lesson to be learnt. If her fate is for goodness, will she learn to be grateful to the Omnipresent who has blessed her with kindness? On the other hand, if her fate is misfortune, will she curse the Lifegiver, the Sustainer of life for bestowing her with misfortunes? or will she learn to see where she goes wrong and try to rectify?...at the very least she can return to the beginning and choose another path..becoming the richer with experiences and life's living lessons. She realises then, in the end, the experiences gained and the lessons learnt is what that will make her life richer and her destination a blessed relief.

Good or bad, its the lesson she will gain from the path she walks on..no matter what the path is...for what is important is that at the end of the road she sees through it all, that the Divine is forever watching and forever near for her to turn to...anytime.

Less hesitantly now, and more sure of herself...she strides on.

Just a mind exercise to perk me up!

ummuahmadain.

HOPE

God has not promised skies always blue,
flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;
God has not promised sun without rain,
joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
But God has promised strength for the day,
rest for the labour, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
unfailing sympathy, undying love.

Just Ordinary Reflection

I have come to learn that, people who have been through a lot, goof up as equally many times as he has done well, do not tell people how much they have gone through. They do not advice people unless asked,they neither praise nor condemn. In short, they don't judge. They have been through so much that they know that anytime, anywhere, fate can twist your life around. And they of all people, know only too well, that what fate dictates is as how HE has ordained ,...and there is no use fretting or complaining. One just have to ride it through...and survive it as best as one can.
So how do we know they have been through a lot? Their calm disposition, their very few words, carefully and thoughtfully said, says it all.

This I have learnt, from people who have been through a lot.