Wednesday, December 15, 2010

And He Turns 14 Today

He is indeed, to me, extraordinary in so many ways. My specialist, Dr. Marlik told me that I could go for another child before I reach 35 after I got my big boy at 31. And so, my “anak ummi” was born at on a very extraordinary moment.....11th day of the 11th month at 11 pm – just 3 days before I finally turned 35 ... 14 years ago.

Having already lost 2 boys previously, I was allowed only these two. So, since my big boy’s name starts with an A, it seemed only natural to me, that this young one would have a name which starts with a Z. (thus covering all the letters of the alphabet). And just like his big brother, I wanted his name to be an inspiration in itself to him. I wanted this second child of mine to be intelligent, thus the name Zakiy, which also carries the meaning, witty. Whereas big brother showed potential in being very perceptive to knowledge, I wanted this young one to be quick in lending a helping hand, par excellent in kind deeds, thus Mohsin came about. And so, following the tradition of his brother’s name, he was another Ahmad Tiga Nama – AHMAD ZAKIY MOHSIN – the witty, intelligent, par excellent one!

Zakiy is indeed my miracle baby. His was supposed to be a caesarean delivery, but somehow my labour pains came earlier than expected, and since by that time, I was under the supervision of another specialist, Dr. Fatimah, she suggested that I went ahead with a normal delivery. Alhamdulillah, my baby Zakiy did not give me much problems at all. And since it was a normal delivery, my sheer happiness to see the cringed face of my still purplish son was slightly dampened when the matron cried out to the nurse, “Remove the baby from the mother ... don’t let her breastfeed him.” My life long steroid medication did not allow either of my 2 boys to be breastfed. But once again, Alhamdulillah, I think we have proven that even though on formulae, we still can have bright, intelligent and good children ...its not really just the issue of mother’s milk, or bottled formula; but more on the nurturing and care that we give. And since I knew my boys would never have the privilege of being breastfed, I was even more vigilant in spending private moments with them during their feeding hours – looking into their eyes and smiling at them and holding them in my arms at every feeding session.

On one occasion, I bathed my baby Zakiy when I was at the end of my confinement. Much to my horror, just above his upper lip, was a tiny scar – the telltale sign of ‘hare-lip’ formation that had not developed. Immediately my initial shock of horror turned to sheer gratitude and the feeling of utmost relief completely overwhelmed me. Taking my baby Zakiy out of the bathroom, I placed him on the bed and immediately performed the Sujud Syukur – the prostration of Gratitude to God! You see, being on lifelong steroid medication, a major worry for mother such as me was to have a hare-lipped child due to the steroids. It was obvious in his foetal development, Zakiy was beginning to form a harelip, but indeed it is the Will of Allah and His Will Alone, that the harelip condition never developed except as a scar. My baby Zakiy is a miracle to me indeed!!! Allah be praised!

And this miracle, extraordinary baby of mine turns 14 today. I don’t care what others think, but to me he has been a very handsome baby who has grown into a very handsome, tall and lanky young man, with a most disarming smile ... melts my heart every time. And yes, at 14, the shadow of a moustache covers up his scar just nicely. He is left handed, and so I know that the way he learns things around him is very different from his right handed brother. Zakiy learns things as a whole -looking at the whole picture first to understand things around him. Even as a child his sense of observation has been acute. You can count on him not to miss the minor details that everyone else seems to overlook. Even as a child, he is less reserved and socialises more easily than his big brother. As a child, he would introduce himself as, “Saya Akiy Owin (Zakiy Mohsin). Saya yang tak pandai, abang yang pandai.” Why would he say that?

From an unfortunate incident during his kindergarten days. Being a left handed child, his learning behaviour would never be the same as a right-handed child. And somehow, in the early part of his kindie days, he simply could not go beyond the number 3 (because he was not shown the whole picture about the concept of numbers). No matter what the teacher did, he could not go beyond 3. That was when the headmistress called me up and suggested (much to my chagrin) that Zakiy might have a learning disability, and that perhaps I might have him removed because the kindie only catered for children who can already count. What??? My baby was 3 years old and he was enrolled in readiness class, to give him exposure to socialising and learning the basics. I refused to accept my Zakiy had learning ability. What I know for sure, the kindie was not prepared to serve my baby’s unique ability to learn things. So, feeling rather challenged by the suggestion, I pulled him out from the kindie. My baby did not deserve to be treated as such. Immediately, putting everything else on hold, I enrolled him onto “Ummi’s kindie”. I showed him the bigger picture about numbering, and went on to teach him about individual numerical. Allah be praised, true enough, within one week he was up to 100 and even writing the numbers down.

But Zakiy being the Witty One, would in all simplicity tell anyone who asked back then, that he was the first kid to be expelled from a kindergarten because he could not go beyond 3. My sweet simple Zakiy.

True, he may not be as gifted as his brother Ilman, but Zakiy surely does not have learning difficulties. He too followed his big brother’s footsteps as the Primary School Head Prefect, and whatever his big brother achieved in his primary days, my baby Zakiy equalled him too. And I am proud of him always.

But no matter what his academic achievements are, my baby Zakiy will forever be someone special and a unique individual to me. Today, he is the one I can surely count on to make me Ice blended Vico when I am tired. He is the one who will bounce into the kitchen when I am preparing something and asks “Ada apa2 Adik boleh tolong?” He is the one , who up until today who will come up to me for a good night peck on the cheeks and shakes and kisses my hands. He is the one who will not have second thoughts to put his hands into mine as we walk the streets, and will not mind the slightest if I kiss him in public.

And today he turns 14 – nearly as tall as his big brother, slim built and with a most charming smile. He has become a shy teenager, and much to my surprise, his playfulness as a child has not deterred him from turning into a teenager very aware of his duties to Allah, and whilst he had some difficulties reciting the Quran as a child, he can quotes verses from the Quran by heart today. Allah bless him. He is resilient and adventurous and I am proud to see his keen sense of trying to do things by himself. It is difficult to find days that he offends me.

Perhaps an essay he wrote when he was in Form One describes my baby’s nature. In an impromptu essay writing competition, Zakiy had to write on The Best Gift. He wrote “...the best gift in my life is the gift of love from my mother.” It won him first prize.. .and tears of appreciation from this mother who is so touched by his words of love and gratitude for his Ummi.

From as a child he calls himself, “Anak Ummi”. Now that he is a young teenager, he is slowly phasing out to “Adik”. Well Akiy Owin, no matter how many years you add to your age, you will always be my baby, my Anak Ummi. I was doubly blessed when you were born, looking like Richard Gere when you were a young boy, and then like the French footballer, Andre in your late primary days.

Your Ummi can only offer my doa for your success in life. Every time you hug me just because you feel like it, my heart soars with love for you. Everytime you say “Thanks Ummi” in gratitude for some need of yours that I have obliged, my heart sings with pride at your politeness and respect for me. Each time that you smile and laugh eases my burden and tears away my weariness. Every night that you ask for a good night kiss from me makes me feel so blessed that Allah has given me you.

And so Zakiy, on this 14th birthday of yours, I want to say thank you for being a good son. Thank you for those times that I sought your comfort too and you understood. Thank you for making me a proud mother because you are an obedient servant of God.

I pray that your passage in life will be blessed. I pray that you will turn out to be a successful Muslim, a fastidious individual working in the path of Allah. And when I am gone, I pray that both you and your brother will honour me by carrying me to my final abode. Do me this honour, Zakiy.

Happy Birthday Anak Ummi!

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