Saturday, March 20, 2010

Retrospective Reflection

I have come to learn that, people who have been through a lot, goof up as equally many times as he has done well, do not tell people how much they have gone through. They do not advice people unless asked,they neither praise nor condemn. In short, they don't judge. They have been through so much that they know that anytime, anywhere, fate can twist your life around. And they of all people, know only too well, that what fate dictates is as how HE has ordained ,...and there is no use fretting or complaining. One just have to ride it through...and survive it as best as one can.

So how do we know they have been through a lot? Their calm disposition, their very few words, carefully and thoughtfully said, says it all.

What I wanted to say here is that they who have been through a lot, know not to compare their misfortunes with the hardship of others and then claim that they have it worse than others. People who have been through a lot can appreciate that for each one, a hardship wont be claimed as such unless the person really felt it.

This I have learnt, from people who have been through a lot.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Pause Button...Rewind Please

This certainly has been one of the busiest school break I have ever gone through. Before I know it, its already Friday..bummer!

Yet this has also been one of the most enlightening week...it is for sure I have grown up quite a bit this week.

All praise be to Allah! My Noble One scored 14As for his Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia exams...he has done his Ummi proud. I bow down in prostration to Allah Almighty for making true my prayers for him. That boy has never let me down as far as his studies are concerned. My eldest sister, Kak Ijah asked if I had expected him to get straight As. That was the first I had to actually give thought to it. And so I reflected...and I replied, "Yes". I never doubted him to get all As; but I still prayed hard nonetheless.

It is this occasion of him scoring straight As that has brought about this most hectic school holiday week. Not wishing for my son to lose out on his opportunity of finding a good place to study, that very Sunday I rushed to first, PWTC, and then to KLCC to attend the education carnival. Walked for hours, lost my watch, only to come home feeling slightly disheartened to learn that education can be so expensive. I am hoping for Ashraf to do medicine.
And then on Monday, it was all excitement and with eager anticipation that I met up with 5 of my old hostel mates in a mini gathering at Rawsha Restaurant in KL. Had to take the train to KL, but I was determined. Never mind the offensive heat, the meeting was scheduled at 1.00 and I arrived at about 1.15. It is always good to meet up with old friends... a time to reminisce, and to learn a secret or two of the past. Woohoo...I learnt a secret that made my eyes go wide, and my jaw dropped! To learn it after all these years ... it was just as thrilling as it would have been if I had known it when it happened all those years ago. That is one day that I will not forget for a long long time.

I guess only Monday was a day for me. After that, on Tuesday and Wednesday, it was again back to Ashraf's business. He is interested in studying medicine in USIM and could Ummi please drive him up there to see and perhaps get the "feel" of the university? It is in Nilai, and for the first time ever, I made an interstate drive with just me and my boys ... putting my full faith in God and the road signs. And I made it...yay!!! And the next day, yet another adventure drive with just my boys to Putra Jaya to the Ministry of Higher Education. Again, he wanted to be sure of his filling the UPU online form ... does not want to goof up on that. And so we drove all the way for a hardly 1 minute session with the officer! But its okay; the drive was educational. But the google map was hopeless (in fact we only discovered the route suggested by google map when I got lost on the way back!)

But all in all, I wouldn't be a fair mom if I do not cater for my younger witty son, Zakiy.

And so yesterday was Zakiy's day. Fetched one of his friends from his home, and another from school; and then I was off to Pusat Akuatik Shah Alam for the kids to enjoy a day out in the swimming pool. And at 4, got a phone call, "Ummi can you fetch us at the Masjid Negeri please?" My dear dear baby,...do you know there about a zillion entrance to the Masjid Negeri? Thank God Allah made it easy to spot him and his friends. By the time I fetched them and sent each of his friends safely home, it was approaching night time.

And so, after such a hectic 4 day "holiday" events, I am finally down with fever and my body aches all over. Today even though I intend to spend the whole day inside, alas its Friday, and the boys must go to the mosque. Done!

That leaves me with Saturday and Sunday. Its Pesta Buku time...should I forego it? Hmm..not likely. And on Sunday, the boys' school is organising a talk at Putra Jaya. Should I not attend? My boys will be disappointed. So...looks like ...

And then there are the test papers still waiting to be marked....bummer!!! And on Monday, school starts again. O well....life goes on...so must I.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

sometimes

Sometimes...
You try your hardest...it is never hard enough
You try your best ......it is never good enough
You give your all ......it is just never enough
and you start wondering
when will it ever be excellent enough
when will it ever be good enough
when will it ever be enough???

Sometimes
you look
you see
you ponder
you reflect
and then you tell yourself
that is as hard as I can go
that is as best as I can do
that is as much as i can give
and the rest is left in the hands of God
for i know my standing, I know where I stand....
Allah is my Helper