After 22 years

After 22 years post transplant and on steroids and immunosuppressant, I now have

Osteoporosis,

Cirrhosis of the liver,

Bleeding problems,

Low haemoglobin count,

Hypertension,

Sebaceous hyperplasia.

That is a lot to contend with in my 49th year of life.

If not for the kidney failure I had to endure prior to those 22 years, I would not have known the meaning of patience and to surrender to the Will of God, would not have experienced sabar and redha when things just get beyond my control, would not have known how to endure pain and to be in a state so helpless that there is no one, absolutely no one you can turn to except HIM, and you raised your hand in supplication, asking as if your life depended on it, with the full realisation that what it is you prayed for, only HE can answer.

If not for this training in endurance, then after 22 years post transplant, I would not be able to

Wake up in the morning and say ‘Alhamdulillah

Be able to go to bed at night and say ‘Alhamdulillah’

Eat most foods that are to my liking and say ‘Alhamdulillah

Feel the wind in my face as I drive (and drift) and say Alhamdulillah.

Perform my favourite passion – teaching and say Alhamdulillah

Kiss my mother whenever I meet her and say a special Alhamdulillah for this

Quietly endure all the above state of health condition I am in now and say Alhamdulillah

But most of all ... to have my two beautiful, obedient and intelligent A-Z sons, Ashraf and Zakiy to take up my genes and hopefully carry my legacy, and to motivate me to keep on moving ahead with my life. My gratitude to HIM for these 2 wonderful lives are beyond words.

So, with all these good things in life I have with me right now, all this boon from Allah, what are a few discomforts of the body, right? I am eternally grateful to Allah for HIS gift of renewed faith and belief in HIM. And I accept the misfortune that has befallen me today. To me they are gentle nudges to remind me from time to time where I have just been through and keep me back in track.

What did not kill me, has made me stronger ... in mind if not physically. I believe I am a better person because of what happened to me 22 years ago. I know, even if not much, that I am a person of substance ... and for that I say Alhamdulillah.

These past 22 years have been a new lease of life for me ... a second chance. And just to be blessed to wake up to a new beginning every morning, is for me one of life’s greatest miracles.

And so I have been asking myself, for the past 22 years ...

“Fa bi aiyyi aala irabbikuma tukazziban..”

“Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny? Surah Ar Rahman, 55:13

19/08/1988 – has given me a new definition to life....Alhamdulillah!