Today, I received a message with a class photo when I was in Form Five. The reason my friend had sent me that photo is because we had just reconnected after 30 years and I, for the life of me, could place neither his name nor his face to my memory bank. Absolute blank...nothing. I bashed my brain but to no avail; until finally all I could do was, unabashedly asked if we belonged to the same class, and, if he had any photo from that time, if he could please send or show it to me.
He did.
And suddenly all the surge of memories came rushing back to me. And I got transported back to those yester years. It was such a nostalgic stroll back down memory lane. The familiar faces. Looking at friends who were closer to me then – jolted memories of jokes exchanged, pranks played and sadness shared living in a boarding school. So much fun then; I can almost hear the laughter and forbidden giggles, feel again the quiet infatuation of an awkward teenager, and the silent envy at the smarter ones in class.
So it is just too sad to even think how I could ever forget some of my classmates! But forget I did. Not until I was shown the photo again. I guess my memories of my final year in school just froze in time since then. In my mind, those friends whom I have not seen or spoken with since just stopped growing. There they stayed in my memory box as young 17-year-old teenagers. And as a gawky, shy teenager, I simply cannot believe it now that I hardly spoke to some of the boys; this particular friend included. So much so he said that it is good we were actually finally having a conversation. I totally agree with him ... better late than never.
Do I regret I was less friendly then? Regret – possibly not, because I knew then, as I know now that it was not out of unfriendliness, but more of being shy and possibly timid too. That was me back then. But I do feel that sense of “missing out on something” because of how I was then. Perhaps being a quiet, studious girl was rather intimidating to some friends of the opposite gender too. Who knows ... If I could turn back the clock, I would possibly reduce my overtly serious disposition and be bold enough to speak up when the situation called for it at that time. It is rather ironic considering I was in the School English Debating Team. One would have thought I would be such a bossy, loud-mouthed, argumentative girl then. (Phew...thank God I wasn’t!). But still, it is such a pity that as a result of that, I ended up not remembering some of my classmates.
One good thing though, I may have forgotten their names and not recognised them by how they look now, but when brought back again to those good old days, recognition is almost immediate, even though their names still slip my mind. Just goes to show me that, they are still there with me, inside of me ... all those dear long lost friends o’ mine.
Some close to me have passed on, may God bless their souls, and some have married each other. Whatever it is, now that I have been given this second chance of coming into contact with them, I can only pray, that this time I am a better friend to one and all.
To this particular friend who has jolted my memories again, THANK YOU
