ESRD & I - First of Many Admissions

Wednesday, 4th April 1984 – I was admitted to the Salford Royal Hospital for a renal biopsy. Before that, however, they had to run extensive tests on me. I was an Asian, so they wanted to know my background - geographical background. It was quite degrading actually; them asking me if I lived in a house with electricity, if I had tap water in the house, if I lived in an attap house or in a building with good sewage system. At first I found that strange ... and insulting. Of course I did! I have always had electricity and tap water in my house for as long as I could remember. But then, when I first visited my in-laws, ironically that was the first question one of his aunts asked me ... if I had electricity and tap water in my house ... but for another reason. They had then only just got electricity supply into their homes and still had to use well water for drink and bathing. What I had taken for granted was a luxury only some could afford at that time. So, I guess the doctors in Salford Royal Hospital had reasons to question me that extensively.
It felt strange to be in a ward where all around me were English; foreigners ... or was I the foreigner? Strangely, that was the first time I had ever been hospitalised. When I prepared myself for prayers, I could feel all eyes on me. One of the ladies was kind enough to talk to me, and she was shocked to learn that I could speak English quite decently. She was even more shocked to hear that I had told the doctor that I never had a boyfriend nor slept with anyone at 22. That was how I escaped the VE by the doctor. Thank God the doctor respected my status at that time.
The next day I was taken to the radiology department for my first renal biopsy (later to be repeated in Malaysia). I had been told to fast prior to the procedure. And once again, I am thankful to the doctor/radiologist for taking the time to explain the procedure in detail to me. I was then made to lie down on my front, not after I changed into the hospital gown.
The room was warm enough, but I could feel myself shivering – probably more from fear than the cold. Even though I understood what the radiologist had said, but to imagine the needle piercing my back and right into my kidney was something to contend with.
All embarrassment aside when I felt the doctor gave a shot of the anaesthesia on my back. Boy! Did that hurt....and then it was a numb sensation. Then the doctor told me to breathe in and hold my breath, and I could hear a slight thud when the needle pierced my back into my abdomen. At first I could not feel anything much, but after 3 or 4 tries, I could sense a blunt aching on my back and it was getting more difficult to hold my breath longer.
Procedure completed, I was sent back to my bed, the furthest in the ward, and continued to lie down on my front for the next almost 24 hours. A really uncomfortable experience I must say. Thankfully, I have this life saving mechanism that whenever it becomes inconvenient to use the toilet, I don’t feel like going to the toilet. But, as the anaesthesia wore off, the back pain became quite unbearable. It felt like I was stabbed by a knife, so much so I had to request for a painkiller. It was all I could do to stop myself from crying – from self pity I guess, being subjected to this kind of treatment ... all alone ...so far away from home. Prayers were only offered by “niat”; no ablution, but just by respecting the prayer times. I wonder why, none of my friends came to visit; they could have helped me make the wuduk. Perhaps everyone was busy with the upcoming finals. (see appendix on renal biopsy)
The next day, when I was more mobile, I decided to join the other patients at the ward lounge watching TV and listening to the older ladies chitchat. It was a comforting feeling, to know that I was being accepted by them, and that they all had kind encouraging words to give me even though I was foreign to them. I guess illness brings people together.
And I am reminded of the words of God in Sura Rom:
”And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. Verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge.” 30:22
I have gone through the whole procedure – the endless blood tests, the urine tests, the CAT Scan, the renal biopsy. Most of the tests were inconclusive, but one thing was for sure – both my kidneys were diseased, and the basic cells – the nephrons were damaged. I had glomerulonephritis. The prognosis was not good.


(c) norhafizah manaf